Marauders' Night Out
by IWLTxo
Summary: Always wondered what a Marauders' Night Out would be like? Well, it involves a lot of alcohol, drug-use, throw in a run from the police, a brawl with some Muggle men and a bunch of cute girls; not precisely in that order. And why would they do all of this? Because Lily said yes to James. See warnings inside.


_Dedicated to the amazing hufflepuffloveforever.x - my best friend on this site, and the person who always encourages me to post. Love you loads!_

_Toke: _An inhale.

_Joint: _Like a cigarette, but with cannabis in it.

**Warnings: **Swearing, violence, mentions of sex and drug-use. Yep, I think that's about it.

* * *

_xoxo_

_~MARAUDERS' NIGHT OUT~_

They were the best of friends, them four; wild, impulsive and they did not give a _crap_ about anyone else. In fact it was this arrogance that, more often than not, got them into drunken bar fights and aggressive brawls out in the open.

Right now, they had three bottles of firewhiskey and eight ready-rolled joints.

Life was perfect. Because they were together.

Sirius's fingers caressed each joint and he picked the biggest one up first. He smelt it and smiled handsomely at his best friends, the Marauders.

"Pass the lighter Moony," he said in a quiet voice. The light haired werewolf threw it at him and Sirius deftly caught it.

They sat in a circle at a mostly deserted Muggle park. There were a few kids sitting on the bench about thirty metres away, maybe the same age as the group of nineteen year old wizards. The Muggle teenagers seemed to be having a party of their own, with music playing and alcoholic bottles being waved as they danced with each other. There were maybe six of them.

It wasn't too dark that Sirius couldn't see their faces; three girls and three boys. Brilliant.

It was summer and the Marauders were all donned in shirts and shorts; like rather fashionable but ordinary Muggles.

"Hurry up Paddy," James said impatiently, already opening the first bottle of firewhiskey and sipping it. He hissed when it left a burning trail down his throat but grinned.

"Fuck it, where's my wand? This fucking lighter isn't working—"

"Need a lighter?" An unfamiliar voice said from behind them.

Sirius turned to see a light brown skinned girl, a very radiant smile on her face. She was holding out a box of matches.

He grinned attractively at her and nodded, getting the joint he'd tucked behind his ear out and popping it into his mouth.

He lit a match and shielded it with his hand. A moment passed before he shook it and tossed the used match. The joint was very large and already burning away; sending waves of marijuana scented air at them. They all simultaneously inhaled the fumes and licked their lips hungrily.

"Three puffs and then pass," Sirius said, inhaling deeply for the first time and licking his lips. He grinned widely as he exhaled.

"Shit Remus," he said softly, "this is some good stuff..." he murmured.

The girl handed him the matches and said in her own drunken tones, "It's fine, keep it," before walking off, or rather, stumbling off, but not before sending an erotic wink to Sirius.

"Come on," James said, clearly annoyed when Sirius stared after her for a long moment, "pass it over now."

He was sitting beside Sirius with a firewhiskey bottle clutched tightly to his chest. Sirius took one last deep toke before he handed it to James. He snatched the bottle off his friend and took a long swig from it, grunting when it painfully scolded his throat.

"I love you Moony," said James. "This feels so good."

Sirius, still drinking from the bottle, turned over quickly to see that the Muggles were still watching them as they danced.

Were they listening to The Ramones? Sirius loved The Ramones!

He could already feel the high approaching him, tingling his feet and spreading through the tips of his fingers. That could have also been the alcohol.

"Pass the joint, Prongs," Remus said, holding out his hand. He took his and expertly inhaled, savouring it before exhaling. Sirius could imagine Moony doing this; smoking cannabis and drinking whiskey, but he couldn't imagine _Remus the prefect _ever doing such a thing. It was almost exhilarating to watch him do such deviant and illegal things. "Remind me to always get our weed from Donnie J." The werewolf croaked huskily.

"He scares me," Peter laughed, shaking his head. He accepted the joint and passed the bottle over to Sirius.

"Why are we celebrating again?" Sirius murmured, head lulling to this side.

"Lily said yes, remember?" James replied.

"And you're spending the day with us? Aw, that's so sweet-" Remus was cut off when the bespectacled Marauder leaned over to hit him.

"Get out your shot glasses Moony. I feel like challenging Sirius to a drinking game."

Sirius shook his head. "Get another joint circulating, I'll finish this one." He took it from Peter and took a long toke. "The rules, Potter?"

Quirking up a neat black eyebrow, James winked mischievously at his best friend. "Let's do traffic lights."

"I'm out!" Peter shouted. "After a puked everywhere last time? Haha, no."

They grinned at him. "Guess it's just us three," said Remus.

"So we take the longest toke we can and whoever exhales first has to have a shot."

Sirius had pussy lungs, to put it straight. He'd been smoking for quite a while and found it hard sometimes to inhale deeply. On top of that, he had some weird Muggle condition called asthma. To put it plainly, he knew he was going to get pissed tonight.

But Sirius never turned down a challenge. He tossed the butt of the joint to the ground and uncrossed his legs, stretching them. The grass was soft and dry; and he liked the smell of flowers wafting around him.

Merlin, he was high. Look at him, talking about flowers and smells and grass.

The Muggles were leaving now, but the same "lighter-girl" was still watching him. She smiled at him and Sirius smiled back.

Remus had the joint alight now and was waiting patiently for James to measure out the shots.

"Okay," he said when four were measured out. He handed the almost empty bottle to Peter, who drained it and tossed it.

"You start first Remus," James said. The handsome half-Italian werewolf took one long, deep inhale of the joint before handing it hurriedly to James.

The bespectacled Marauder did the same, smirking before he passed it to Sirius.

Almost reluctantly, Sirius took the joint off of James, muttering, "Cruel bastard," under his breath before inhaling.

He kept the joint between his fingers before he met the eyes of his best friends. James beside him and Remus opposite.

Remus, who'd been holding the toke of the joint in longest, still looked like he couldn't give a flying fuck.

James was turning a little red, but not as red as Sirius, who after thirty more seconds, couldn't do it and exhaled with a large cough, smoking wafting around them.

The recently engaged Marauder soon followed suit, but Remus simply held his breath a minute longer, showing off his monster lungs, before signalling for the joint from Sirius.

"What a wimp," he said under his breath, laughing when Sirius knocked back the shot and proceeded to swear and mutter angrily under his breath.

"You really need to control you're anger, Sirius." The three other Marauders said simultaneously before laughing.

To say they got high was an understatement. They smoked six of the joints together, leaving two for later, as well as polishing off two more bottles of firewhiskey.

They could barely stand. Remus had to actually lift James bridal style off the fucking ground.

The others could not stop laughing. "That'll be you and Lily in a few months," Sirius chortled, holding onto Peter to keep his balance.

"Obviously in reversed positions," replied James, taking a considerably long time to answer his best friend.

"No. This'll be you and Lily in a few months, only she'll be carrying you, not Remus."

They joked around for maybe twenty more minutes whilst they stumbled to the main road.

"We need to walk carefully now lads." Remus warned them, but James and Sirius weren't paying attention; they were too busy laughing hysterically, shoving each other.

Sirius even fell flat on his face, spitting grass out and coughing harshly. "—fucking dickhead," he shouted angrily before holding out his hands like a baby.

"Remus love, help me up." He asked. Rolling his eyes, the werewolf held out a hand and dragged Sirius to his feet.

"You're so heavy," Remus moaned angrily. "Still, I can't complain much, can I? I had to carry that great lump for a few minutes didn't I?"

People were watching them as they stumbled down the busy road. It must have been eleven now, but they still had a lot planned for the day: getting more fags, smoking some more joints, visiting the Leaky Cauldron...

"You know," James said, "I had a dream the other day that Lily didn't want to marry me..."

And he leapt brusquely into the story of the dream, talking absolute bullshit and receiving absolute bullshit replies.

High talk, they called it. Or in Sirius's own words, "Letting James talk when he was high and getting a headache but not realising you had a headache until afterwards".

Prongs was a chatterer when he was high. Just like Peter was a grinner and Remus was a preacher and Sirius was a thinker.

It was sort of funny just how incredibly different they were when intoxicated. Remus would preach on about werewolf and half-breed rights, Peter would grin on for hours; even if he was told his mother died, James would tell annoying but incredibly amusing stories and Sirius would think.

Yes, think. Grieve the death of his brother, his most recent thought-track as of late.

James was laughing loudly with Remus, both of them shouting at the top of their lungs as they argued good-naturedly over Quidditch.

The taller Marauder barged the bespectacled one after James shouted at him, "YOUR TEAM ARE SHIT, MOONS! FACE IT!"

But James didn't happen to fall flat on his face like Sirius, he barged into a man. A really big and really scary man. At least five years older than the reckless nineteen year olds.

And these men were sober.

_Well oh fuck._

"What d'you think you're doing?" The man roared. He was maybe Remus's height, but a lot thicker; and he was not handsome like the werewolf, not at all.

He resembled Crabbe from Hogwarts in the year above: large, scary and really quite repulsive.

James, ever the idiot, started talking, "Nothing, obviously."

"Excuse me?" The man bellowed; breath fanning in the air, hands contorting into fists.

"Pwoah," James laughed, batting at the air near his nose and pretending to gag. Shouting in a sing-song voice, he said quite confidently, "I think someone needs a breath mint."

There were two people with the Muggle Crabbe and three with James. Considering Muggle Crabbe was twice the size of any normal person, to Sirius it seemed like an even fight.

Thanks to James's chaser instincts, he managed to duck the punch coming his way very quickly. Remus, ever the protective best friend, kicked out at the man, and staggered when someone tried to kick him.

It was blood, sweat and staggering; definitely on the intoxicated Marauders' side.

Sirius could remember punching someone and getting elbowed in the back. He shouted out when he was head butted, but it didn't deter him at all. Soon, they were being split up. Someone was restraining Sirius from behind but he couldn't stop laughing.

"Calm down you crack pot druggie," the guy restraining him said.

Sirius turned and with a cry recognised the man holding him from the park, friends with the pretty girl.

"Okay, split it up," another person was shouting. Remus got up off the enormous man and spat at his feet.

"You touch my friends again and I'll kill you." He bellowed before grabbing his rucksack from the ground and walking away to join his friends.

A still-very-high-and-drunk James threw his arms around Remus in a friendly fashion and hugged him tight.

"Thanks Moony, you saved my life."

"I'm pretty sure we did mate." One of the Muggles from the park-group said jokingly.

"Now," the girl who gave Sirius the matches continued, "since we've saved you twice, you know, from ending up in prison for brawling in public and of course about the whole lighter situation, I think you owe us a joint."

The others were about to say no, even though they had a small bag with enough cannabis for at least three other large joints, not counting the two fat ones they had left over, Sirius interjected. "If you smoke it with us."

The girl seemed to think for a bit and then she grinned and nodded. "Okay. I'm Eva by the way, and this is my friend Bruno. That annoying oaf over there is Jake, that one is Billy, she's Jada and this one is my cousin Amelie."

Sirius tried to remember their names, reciting them in his head. He looked at Eva and winked. He couldn't help but notice how Amelie and Remus were staring at each other, clearly attracted to one another. And because of the amount of alcohol he had digested, and the weed he'd smoked, Remus's inhibitions were almost nonexistent. He was free and wild now.

Maybe he'd get laid tonight. And if he got laid, Sirius could talk him into doing his paperwork. Moony liked doing paperwork sometimes. Most of the time... When he was in a good mood...

"Okay," he said. "I'm Sirius, this is James, Peter and he's Remus."

James smiled widely at them. "I'm getting married soon." He said happily.

The group of Muggles started laughing. "So, why did you leave the park?" They asked after a while.

"We wanted to get more booze and fags," Peter explained quietly.

The boy Bruno gestured to the luminous red corner shop only a few metres from where they stood.

"Gimme some money then James," Sirius said, gesturing to the shop.

Handing over twenty quid, Sirius took the money and pocketed it. "Remus, B&H or Marlboro?"

"Marlboro Red." The other said clearly.

The nine of them watched him walk into the shop, pause to briefly flirt with a girl, before he disappeared from their view.

He came back out with two bags of booze, a lollipop in his mouth and a deck of cigarettes peeping up out of his trouser pocket.

"Come on guys," he said.

_xo_

It really was nice, Sirius decided. So he'd probably drunken about double the amount of alcohol he was medically allowed to. And he was the highest he'd ever been from smoking cannabis, but right now he was lazily kissing the lighter-girl and thoroughly enjoying it whilst they shared a fag.

James was busy being stoned and drunk; therefore very chatty and explaining to anyone who would listen that he had a beautiful "ginger" wife at home, until of course Remus reminded him that they weren't married yet.

"You know," James started, but then he paused. "Am I the only one who can see three police officers over there near the bins, making their way over?" He said.

It took everyone a while to make out the three dark figures coming closer. They were still a great distance away, but it was enough for everyone to put jumpers and rucksacks back on.

"Nice meeting you," Sirius shouted whilst he pulled some shoes on; he didn't know whether they were his or James. But he found himself not caring. He hadn't felt so relaxed in so long.

"STOP! STOPPP!" The officers were shouting

Already Bruno and Billy were running, Jada right behind them. Amelie was scrawling someone onto Remus's forearm before she kissed him and ran off.

Jake was arguing with James over whose bag was whose before Peter threw him the red rucksack and the Muggle teenager scampered.

Sirius hurriedly kissed Eva, pulling her body flush to his. "So nice to meet you," he panted. Then he kissed her again.

"Get my number from your friend. Nice meeting you!"

To say the Marauders couldn't run properly was an understatement. They were stumbling and running as fast as they could.

"We have to go faster!" Remus shouted, grabbing Peter by the elbow and helping the man keep up with his three very fast friends, though none of them were quite as fast as Remus.

You know, _werewolf superpowers _and all.

The police are screaming from behind them. It was a mistake to send three unfit and overweight police officers after the young wild Marauders.

The Marauders, who were wizards no less.

It was very scary, maybe even more than scary, running from the crackpot deluded officers who kept screaming.

But Sirius could run fast. He was confident... Sort of.

Soon, the Marauders began laughing when they ran through an alleyway and hid behind a group of dumpsters. The officers didn't even pause, continuing their sprint through South London. The Marauders couldn't hold their laughter in, simply cackling with amusement and crying of laughter.

They gasped for air, and Sirius was coughing; just because he was fast did not mean for a second that it didn't hurt to run. It did hurt. Hurt like a motherfucker.

"You okay Padfoot?" James panted beside him.

The high was wearing off for them, but each second that passed had it shooting back into their systems. It was James who giggled first and swayed on his feet.

"Who else feels it hitting them?" He asked.

Peter grinned stupidly and nodded slowly. All he could do was grin, nod then grin some more.

_Boring._

And once again ... Sirius was lost in the cavern of his own mind. He scowled.

"I'm tired, and energetic, and drunk and high."

"Fuck you and your celebration, James Potter!" Remus shouted after Sirius's ... accurate explanation of everything he was feeling.

"What?" James shouted. "Aren't I allowed to be happy that my soul mate, my absolutely smashing and gorgeous and sexy girlfriend said yes?"

"After the totally unromantic way you proposed? No thanks. Nah, I'm joking," Sirius hurriedly said. "Of course we're happy." To prove it, he pushed himself up off the wall he was resting against, and wrapped his arms around James, kissing each of his cheeks.

Sirius was thinker-high but was a flirtatious drunk. Weirdly enough, they did not go smoothly together.

Him and James started passionately hugging and kissing each other briefly, like they always did when they were drunk together, before they started screaming at the top of their lungs the chorus for _"The Aged Hippogriff and his Witch"_.

"-WITCHES OF THE WORLD-"

"Shut it, Prongsie," Remus laughed. "Let's go to a bar."

"A bar?" Peter repeated a little drunkenly.

"Will they let us in like this?" It was Sirius asking. "Only, I need to sit down Moony, and I don't want to go all the way to a bar and be made to sit down."

Remus hugged Sirius a little and shrugged. "We'll lobiviate-"

"Bodliviate," Peter corrected, the first time he'd ever corrected someone in his life, even though his correction was wrong.

"You're all wrong!" Sirius shouted. "It's obivliate, I'm sure."

The bespectacled Marauder was grinning widely. "You guys are fucked. It's "obliviate". I'm pretty sure."

"No it's not!" the others shouted.

They chatted half-heartedly after they disapparated to Diagon Alley. It was from there (maybe a five minute walk) before they were inside the packed, uncomfortably warm pub _The Leaky Cauldron._

"FRANK!" They bellowed, capturing half the pub's attention as they catapulted to the elder man and hugged him; Sirius lay across his lap, James and Remus hung over his shoulders and Peter was wrapped around his waist.

"Dear God, you guys are drunk again, aren't you?" Then he laughed louder when he sniffed them. "Drunk and high, aren't you?"

Sirius and James giggled, "Maybe," they said, before laughing some more.

"Tom, ol' Tommy," Remus sang in a deep voice, "Get us four double firewhiskeys please. Actually, just get the whole bottle for us. Richard's Brew, 1968 please."

Tom the barman looked frightened as though he didn't know what to do. But Sirius's frustrated growl made the choice for him, and less than two minutes later, they had the 1968 addition of their favourite firewhiskey.

Four shot glasses came towards them, and when Frank impatiently pushed Sirius off his lap, and Alice (who had received just as enthusiastic greeting) managed to coax James into releasing her, the boys started singing and challenging each other.

"Bet you puke before me." Sirius shouted to James.

"Ten galleons." The bespectacled Marauder challenged.

"Twenty." The other countered, raised eyebrow.

"Fifty," James bellowed in response before he snatched the bottle from Remus and messily measured two shots.

He pushed one over to Sirius and sloppily kissed Alice's cheek, saying, "Thanks Lily babe."

Sirius winked at James and grabbed the shot, knocking it back and groaning. The other bespectacled Marauder did the same and they raised their eyebrows at one another.

It went on and on for five more shots each before James stumbled out of the pub to puke all over the pavement. In the twenty seconds it took for the door to close, Sirius heard his best friend emptying his stomach and cried of laughter.

"Oh my god, he's such a wimp." Sirius said as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Inhaling deeply, he looked up as James stumbled back into the bar, holding up his thumbs and shouting, "I'M OKAY!"

"I won Prongs." Sirius said. "Aint that right, Peter? Peter?"

He drunkenly looked at his friend to see the smallest Marauder snoring, head on Remus's chest; an equally snoring Remus.

"For fuck's sake," growled James. "We still have so much to do."

Frank and Alice were laughing and watching the two men argue and joke around before Sirius yawned and said, "I want to go home James."

"Let's, shhh," the bespectacled man looked around, "let's have a sleep over. Lily's coming over in the morning so we have the whole night to ourselves."

Sirius beamed radiantly in answer, his body swelling in excitement. Why shouldn't he stay over at James's? He didn't have anywhere to be tomorrow. So it might be fun.

No, not might. It would be fun. And they'd wake up in the morning and talk about how they got in a fight and met some cool people and ran off from the police.

It'd be fun. Super fun.

"Do us a favour Frankie, Alice babe," Sirius began, "take us to James's. I'm so pissed... I think I've wet my pants."

Sirius did indeed "wet his pants" as he so eloquently put it, much like the now-fully-asleep Peter.

James passed out whilst they were paying Tom the barman; Remus wouldn't wake up, and Peter was the worst of all; dribbling and snoring loudly. To make matters worse, when Sirius stood, tripped up over his own feet and banged his head on the table, he became Marauder Number Four to not wake up.

"Wake up," Alice said softly, tossing her dark hair behind her and gently slapping Remus's face. She'd always liked Remus, having been Head Girl when he became a prefect for their beloved house Gryffindor.

She turned to look at her equally dark haired husband and shook her head. "They never fail to amuse me. And the fact that Moody's hosting an Order meeting tomorrow puts the cherry on the cake. They'll be so hungover..."

She giggled whilst her husband shook his head vehemently. "Moody's gonna kill them Alice."

"They deserve it. Getting this drunk, this high. I won't be surprised if they half stumble into tomorrow's meeting. Do they even know there's a meeting? Oh never mind ... come on, let's take them home."

Lobbing them all onto one enormous conjured bed in the living room, Alice kissed each of their foreheads before her and her husband left.

When the Marauders woke up in the morning, they were spooning and cuddling each other, dribble and sweat mingling together. But they were so close; they really didn't care at all.

_xo_

Peter, Remus, Sirius and James stumbled into their Order meeting forty five minutes late or so.

Their mutual grins at one another, however, stopped abruptly when they felt glares burning into the sides of their faces: Moody and Lily.

On the other side of the room, Frank and Alice were giggling silently to one another, like they were in on a private joke.

James opened his mouth and said a witty response to the silent and mostly pissed off Order. Of course it would be James to say something stupid first.

"Quick question, Moody darling," he said, "is it 'lobidviate' or 'dobliviate'?"

And really, James should have expected the _Levicorpus _coming his way. And really, he should have known Lily would leave him attached to the ceiling for the rest of the meeting.

* * *

**A/N: **I hope you've liked this! It was so fun to write, and I intended to post it sooner but lost it on my laptop- found it hiding in the music folder -_-


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